Inundated with Messages

Today, all day, I've had little tidbits of things coming to me.  Rather than clog my status on FB with more of them, I thought I'd try and recall and put them all down here.  That way there is some record of the things that have been coming to me.

At one point a funny thought came to mind, that I could perhaps start the 1st Edition of the Christian Dictionary.

Family:

• Those people that God in his wisdom provide to us to guide us when our conscience or common sense fail us.
• Those that love us enough to be brave and tell us when we're being stupid, even though they know it might make us angry.
• Those who know our faults, weaknesses, trials, tribulations.  Who know we may be battered and bruised or even broken and they love us, not despite it, but perhaps because of it.
• Those that God provides either by blood, marriage or love to help us through the rough times.

Secrets:

• Things we try to hide because even those that follow Satan or the ways of the world find them abhorrent. 
• Things we feel compelled to hide because we know we are doing wrong, hurtful and unjustified things to others.
• Things that can never be hidden from God or Satan.  God weeps, Satan rejoices.

Lies:

• Things we tell others when we can not face the shame in what we are doing.
• More things that make God weep and Satan rejoice.

Selfishness:

• The act of doing wrong to others and expecting them to accept it and bear it as their own fault, insofar as lording it above them.
• Expecting others to suffer in silence while we take advantage of them, disregarding their feelings and living as if the world were there to cater to our every whim.
• The act of being completely self absorbed, living for self, and being egocentric.

Conscience:

• That which God graced us with to let us know right from wrong, just from unjust, and that which all too often is ignored or stamped down.
• That which, when we choose not to listen to it causes us to lie, forgetting that if we must lie, we ought not be doing what we are.

Miracles:

• See Family.
• That which we can find in "every day events" and proves the existence of God in it's extraordinary rareness.
• God's grace in providing for us those who seek to love us, even though we are imperfect creatures and do not deserve it.  He gives it to us anyway.

I may have forgotten some, but if I think of them I'll have to come back and amend this or write another post.

Update

Ok, so for a few weeks I had my crash on Friday night sleeping a large portion of Friday through Saturday.

That's progress since before I was not sleeping for weeks at a time, then I might have a crash for one or more days giving me a false sense of security thinking that I'm going to be able to sleep....maybe.  Well, in the past few days, I've been sleeping for a few hours at a time, one or more times a day, it's unpredictable when this might happen.  I'm still exhausted from overall lack of sleep, but it seems that it might be moving toward a better outcome....?  I'm hitting REM sleep during some of the 2-3 hour naps, so that's a good thing I think, since you need REM for long/short term memory, and also to get more restful sleep.

It could just be that it's been months since I slept normally for any period of time, or it could be that my body is trying to say, you know what, I really like sleep and I'm gonna have some!  I'm not sure yet what will happen of course, and I do a lot of "resting" hoping for sleep at the moment since I am so tired all the time and sleep seems to come whenever it wants to and not necessarily when I want it to, but it's not really restful rest since the whole time you're thinking of wanting, wishing for, or wondering if sleep might happen LOL.  It's kind of ridiculous really.

Also, on my past birthday, my mother gave me a wonderful pair of shoes that went well with a skirt that I'd gotten, but also a pair of fuzzy socks.  I think I may have blogged about fuzzy socks at some point in the past, but those posts have been long gone, so I'll just reiterate.  Fuzzy socks are one of the world's greater goods, and it's my express opinion that if everyone had some, there wouldn't be any war in the world!  Ok, so maybe that's a bit extreme and far fetched, but it could happen!

Anyway, the pair my mother gave me is so soft I just love them!  If I could wear them forever I would, but alas I must change socks when they get dirty......sigh.  So, I'll have to try and find out if she remembers where she got them because they are some of the nicest ones I have.  When you put them on, they're so soft your feet say aaaaah, and it's just like your feet are getting a lovely hug all day long.  I think they had some kind of foot softening thing in them too, which could account for the softness, but yep, they're some of my very favorite ones!  THANKS MOM!  I'm also wearing my flamingo pj's my mommy got me, they're comfy too LOL.  AH PJ'S and FUZZY SOCKS!

The answer to all world strife......I salute you!

NO HAWT WATAH!

Normally, I'm a stickler for proper spelling, but I thought it'd be funny..........DON'T JUDGE ME!

Anyway, I spent the last 3 days with no hot water.  I had some valuable lessons during that time......  The hot water heater kept making a loud popping sound when ever the maintenance man reset the breakers.  Of course it never did it while he was in here so he never got to hear it.  It turns out it was the heating elements.  A professional water heater dood was called in to fix it.  He forgot a hose to empty it, tools to work on it etc, but luckily the maintenance man here had everything needed.

Ok now that I've told you about the heater, I'll tell you what I've learned.  Cold baths are horrible on arthritis......  Also, cold water is much worse on hair that tends to tangle than hot water.  But when you're determined to have a bath, you take one, even if it's cold as heck.  And then, you spend about an hour trying to detangle the rat's nest that has become the stuff that USED to be on top of your head.

I'm glad that I now have hot water back, but I think they may have set the temperature a bit too hot, so I might have to ask them to lower it so I don't cook myself in the bath.

Damn you MURPHY!

Murphy's Law......chit happens.

So, you know when you pay your cell phone bill, and a few hours later your cell phone just decides to not boot up and just stare at you with the login screen?  Well, it's a fine example of Murphy's Law.  I was so mad you can't even understand.  I hadn't slept since my Fri/Sat crash session, paid my bill, phone died, called tech support from another phone, recording asks for obscure pin after ensuring you're calling from another phone, sends pin........to broken phone that won't turn on.......such intelligence.  Paid for handset protection, extra in bill every month for over a yr for pc of mind........new handset costs money.

In short, cricket sucks.  I've never had such shoddy or shady business practices from another company, until after 15 yrs with Sprint, at which time they changed my coverage without telling me and tried to chg me a butt load of money, which was why I changed to cricket in the first place.  On the up side, you could get a new phone every yr for free if you wanted to, and even when I accidentally spilled water on my phone they replaced it completely at NO COST to me.....and that was MY fault.

A pc of chit phone that just decides to "reboot" and never turn back on is far from being my fault, and yet even with coverage on the pc of chit, they won't replace it.  I'm looking into verizon, there's a turn on fee for me since my credit is less than perfect, so I'll have to save my pennies to get that to go.  It's ok though, Cricket showed me that their customer service and business practices are as huge a pc of chit as the equipment they send out.  ERGO......lesson learned and in less than 15 yrs so I can now go to a more reputable company, who when you DO purchase protection replaces handsets at NO cost to you.  AND they can add my bill onto my existing cable bill so rather than paying 2 diff places I can pay one.  So though overall it's more, it's less hassle.

Wish me luck, LOL, *shakes fist at Murphy*  I'll get you yet!

Happy "Mother's" Day

Everyone gives tribute to the women in their lives that are mothers, so I wanted to do something a little bit different.

There are a LOT of women in the world that have that motherly spirit and yet can't have children.  There are a lot of women in our lives that represent a positive role model as women, and thusly represent the word mother in all of it's wonder, generosity, kindness and strength, be they mothers themselves, or a positive role model for those of us who admire them to follow, I say a wonderful happy day for your embodiment of the SPIRIT of MOTHERHOOD!

You know who you are, you're truly amazing and we love, and admire you!

Le Sigh

The problem with insomnia is it is tricksy!

You go and go and go and go on little to no sleep until you're finally so exhausted you sleep until you're dehydrated.  Then, being well rested, you get a false sense of security, go to bed and roll this way and that for 8 hours until you finally give up.  Friday night was my night of exhaustion, which turned out well for Saturday since I had dinner with my family for Mother's Day.  So of course, armed with my false sense of security, I marched to bed last night to find that sleep was but a dream.......

After tossing and turning, turning and tossing, I had exactly 0 sleep.  If I get lucky, I might get tired enough for a nap, but I can't let it be more than that since I have to go to court Tuesday, and I'd like to not have a topsy turvy kind of schedule beforehand.

I definitely won't complain since I had restful sleep and a lot of it, though it's a bit strange to wake up so dehydrated and disoriented that you have trouble walking straight.  There have been times when I have my crash that I sleep for nearly 24 hours straight.  It's unpredictable, and probably should be a big concern, but my body needs the rest, so what else can I do but let it have it when it finally is determined to have it?

One day, hopefully soon, I'll have better rest more often and on a more constant basis.  But for that to happen, the medical issues need to be addressed.  Last night's difficulty was both my hands and feet and back pain all together.  Some times it's just one or the other, some days it's anxiety, headaches or whatever decides to manifest that particular day.

All in all, it's just a huge pain in the butt.

Good Morning!!!.......?

I should probably keep a sleep chart or something.

Since I had so little sleep, my body was utterly exhausted and I fell asleep at 630 pmish.....that's when I last checked the clock so it may have been closer to 7.  My neighbors were being very kind, generous and thoughtful and decided to slam their doors and bang the walls around midnight, and now I'm wide awake again.  I was hoping to at least sleep until the early hours of the morning....and though this counts as early morning, it's a bit too much like middle of the night.

I don't mind when my schedules shift to waking in the early morning nearly as much as I mind when they shift to falling asleep in late morning and sleeping through afternoon etc.  To me, that wastes an entire time of day when things are normally open, people are normally awake etc and it causes me to get extremely stressed.  That also makes it hard to make, keep etc appointments at any specific time because you're exhausted to begin with and not knowing when your body may allow sleep to come or for how long multiplies the effect.

At least I got close to 5 hours, which for me right now is pretty darn good.  So I can't complain too awfully much.  Had my neighbor not decided to fight slam or whatever is going on over there I may have even gotten somewhat close to a full night's rest, even though I may have woken early in the daytime.  That would have been perfectly fine with me.

I have lunch with my family this Saturday, so hopefully a little rest is forthcoming, and at some kind of logical time so that meeting people is not a complete stress.  I hate being exhausted when I try to do things.  It's no fun for me, and I'm sure I'm not very good company for them either.  I also have court this upcoming Tuesday afternoon, even though I told the police I didn't want to press charges on the young man that was drunk and kept knocking on my door and eventually tried to push his way in.  I think he was just drunk and confused, not really trying to come into my house so much as he thought he knew who lived here and wanted in out of the rain.  I guess the state picks up whatever they feel the need to pick up regardless of whether we want them to or not.  Besides he's in enough trouble without additional charges being trumped up on him as it is.

If they give me time or license to speak freely, I'll probably make that point known.  I'm sick of our country and legal systems pushing the envelope and trying to make bigger law breakers of us all.  I'm sure that right now, sitting here and blogging, I'm probably breaking some inane law that could land me in prison/jail and those of you reading it in jail as well.  There's probably some law against breathing by now........Ok maybe that's a little ridiculous, but seriously, they're getting ridiculous with laws these days.

Things like aggravated menacing.   What the EFF is that anyway?  If I look at someone and say GRRR, am I guilty?  I'm sorry, but I really think there should be laws, but going nuts with them is a bit out of hand.

At any rate, the point is, I'm hopeful that sleeping is at some kind of logical time to cover all of these times and things I must do in the near future, and such that I won't be exhausted while trying to do them.