Theft of Freedom of Speech

Watching Americasvoice.news, I keep seeing story after story about the fraud in this year's Presidential election.

I can't understand how anyone, Democrat OR Republican would want to be the ostritch and bury their heads in the sand about this issue.  We have been censored on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, and many others. People sharing valid views or news stories have been banned from social media sites, because the sites don't want people to see these stories.  EVERYONE should be worried for their freedoms, because if allowed to steal the voice of some now, means they will steal the voice of all later.

Personally, I believe there should be class action law suits on the social media sites who's practice it is to ban or delete posts that fall under our constitutional rights to speak our minds, or share current news.  I also believe there should be class action law suits vs each and every so called media station who practices bias editorials rather than news.  They are robbing us of valuable information, editorials are not news, they are opinion.  I do not want to be dictated as to what I should think, and no one out there should be satisfied with the constant brain washing of yourselves or your children.  I believe we should have class action law suits on terrorist factions such as BLM, and Antifa, who have openly taken part in riots, destruction, mayhem and murder, as well as criminal lawsuits of the same.

These factions scream racism, while spreading hate and division between races.  This is the perpetrator of reinstilling racism back into society, and is an absolutely abhorrent practice.  They call for the defunding of police, while murder has risen 90% because of police suppression.  Don't let these allegations blind you, think critically.  The self same people have called on the police to enforce, MANDATES (which are suggestions, not law) about masks, or gatherings.  What police are coming to your aid when you call?  I can't blame them for not wanting to go, people are demonizing people who have taken and oath to protect and serve the public and enforce the law of the land.  They aren't rich, they aren't the highest paid people on the planet, and yet, they put their lives on the line for me and for you every day they put on their uniforms.  As far as I'm concerned, they are grossly underpaid for that kind of potential cost to themselves and their spouses, and children.

These factions would have you believe that Republican stance means facism......let's define facism:  a political philosophy, movement, or regime (such as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition.  Wikipedia would have you believe that this is a far right sentiment, and depending on the political compass in other nations, this could be true, HOWEVER, that would only stand IF the far right in any particular nation, was, by comparison, the far left in America.  Let me reiterate, I classify myself in some ways as far right, in come ways and medium, and I also have some political views that tend to the left.

I will explain.  The far right typically holds to less government being more, and more power to the people.  I don't want laws to govern every aspect of my existence, and people that do.......well, let's just say they haven't thought critically about what that would mean or look like. Midline is where most of the typical stances on law, or morality stand.  My views that would look more to the left are those including certain aspects of abortion law, and those concerning LGBTQ community.  The difference here is that, I don't believe we should inundate society to a bunch of new laws, creating justice for some, and supression for the majority.  I do however, believe that people should be trusted to have a moral compass, and all have rights under the constitution.  I tend to think that questions of morality are more of a personal thing than a government one, and should be treated as such.  IE: should I get an abortion......and critically thinking this through by what your family and morality has taught you.  If you are using abortion as a means of birth control, you are simply not behaving in a highly moral lifestyle, and yes, I think that is wrong.  If an abortion is indicated due to health limitations etc, I have to stand on the ground that letting the government have control over such situations is wrong.  So, though it initially SEEMS to be a more left approach, the fact I would put the decision into people's hands brings it back to the right.  I believe that LGBTQ people have the same inalienable rights to freedom as anyone else, the same for any race.  The constitution stands clear to me on these things, and I don't believe that dictating laws on "recognizing" LGBTQ issues is truly a necessary thing.  They are already recognized in the constitution.  Everything else seems to be more of a morality/religious conundrum, and I don't think people's consciences should be forced to one side or another.

Now let's explore the meaning of facism, it is suppression at it's core.  Suppression of speech, political, moral, and religious freedom, as well as others.  It is the removal of freedom due to government being placed into every aspect of life.  Total government control, police state etc.  Now let's explore what those screaming facsism, or racism are doing.  They are calling for division/recognition of black people.  They are not calling for recognition of any other race, and the very NAME of the organization in itself should be an affront to EVERYONE of EVERY race and religion.  I will address that issue in a bit, for now I want to stick with the issue of facism. BLM, and Antifa, specifically, as well as some FAR LEFT nutjobs smoking way too much crack, would have you believe that defunding the police would be a good idea.  When there are not police, who is it then, in crisis would step up to the plate and "protect" us all from injustice and broken laws.  This, again, is where facism rears it's ugly head once again.  Absent of local police and authority to protect us from lawbreakers, the National/Federal Government would be called upon to step in to protect the people.  Thus the far left would have another piece of the puzzle to take complete control of every American citizen, and further us towards complete facism or socialism....neither of which is a good idea for ANYONE!

Facism also touches on the issue of race.....exactly what do you think it means when a faction names itself Black Lives Matter.  It means they are holding that race above all others, calling attention to it, dividing it from the rest of the society in which it belongs.  This is, in fact racism.  This is facism.  We can also determine that the nationalism named in the definition is not the same thing as being patriotic or proud of your country.  Rather, nationalistic views/states would be totalitarian states in which NATION is more important than people.  This has never been said by ANY republican EVER.  However it is screamed by Antifa and far left "Democrats" which is really, at this point more of a cult if you ask me.  People saying they will riot if others dont vote the way their socialistic organization wants them to, thus giving full power and authority to those that they want in power.......ppl, wake up please and look at what is being done to our country.

We are systematically losing our freedoms, and we are being spoonfed diarrhea telling us that it is for our own good.  We are allowing some jackasses on "social media" to quell our voices and freedoms, stealing our basic rights from us.  Exactly what do you think comes next.

Congratulations to the blind for allowing themselves to be brainwashed into loving Trump when he was on NBC stating you're fired.  Being trolled into putting importance into "reality" tv shows such as The Apprentice. Being told love him for his candor, and abruptly brutal honesty.  I never watched reality TV, but I remember the commercials before I deleted TV, sensationalizing, see who gets fired this week.  Congratulations to all of you with such a short memory, that you loved Trump when told to bye the very same people who are now convincing you to hate him, and have been for the past 4 years, for the VERY SAME qualities he has shown as President.  What a good bunch of people you have been to fall for the idiocy that the far left would have you fall for, being brainwashed into believing that they give half a shit about you.

As for me and mine, we will continue to fight for freedom, and I will honor my military vow to protect America from ALL enemies foreign and domestic.

My Thoughts on What Socialized Medicine in the U.S. Would Look Like

 Say Goodbye to your Grandparents, those with difficult medical conditions such as cancer or prolonged illnesses, or disease processes, which includes those with acquired and genetic disabilities.

Our country has long shown a trend to devalue those that are a "drain" on the system/economy.  If we put our lives and health in the hands of those in "power", I dread how much loss and death we will see in our country.  I have already seen politicians/companies etc. making the lives of our elders so difficult, that it's impossible for me to NOT think that they are attempting to kill them off by whatever means is necessary.  I hope you don't like your children that have cancer or were born with disabilities because I can see them being given the most minimal/cheap medical treatment available to keep "government" costs down.

We may not all have the benefit of having the best or finest healthcare, but our family's lives are in OUR hands, not anyone elses.  We have the option to use what our insurance will cover, or to reach out for better care to give our loved ones the best hope of a longer future.  WE decide.  I fear the day when people give government the ultimate power of deciding every aspect of our lives.  In that aspect of politics I suppose I'd be tagged as a far right person, I believe that we, as Americans should have the right to make moral, and life decisions for ourselves.  I believe that laws should be simple and understandable, Don't murder, rob, rape, steal or touch children or anyone else inappropriately.  Perhaps this oversimplifies things, however, I was brought up with a moral compass, and I trust my neighbors to have been brought up with some values as well.

Creating more laws as we saw in the last election, creating division over where someone should use the bathroom, caused me to think, wow what a way to cloud the issues, we were all taught to use the bathroom as toddlers, and now it's in question how and where?  Moreover, we are willing to let the government dictate to us how to pee and poop........really America.  I wouldn't align myself with the Democratic party, even before all the socialist propaganda of this electoral year.  I'm sure that some of my views fall in the Democrat party area in some ways, at least before this socialist crap.  The overall thing I try to iterate to others is this, the Republican party wants LESS government in every avenue of our lives because they trust people to have values, while the Democratic party has been caught out time and again saying that the populace as a whole is too stupid to make their own life decisions.

I've been waiting on my personal, intelligent Democratic assistant since I'd first heard this nonsense, to come to my home and wake me, bathe me, wipe my butt, feed me, and everything else deemed necessary that we the people are too stupid to do.  As I said I can not fully align myself with any political party because I believe that there are some good reasons for abortion, some very necessary to medical health, but at the same time I don't believe it should be at taxpayers expense, nor be used as a form of contraception.  I do believe that gay ppl have the right to be just as miserable as the rest of the world, so if they want to get married......let them.  As far as whether it's ok with God or not, I won't comment personally, I know what the Bible says about that so enough about that part of my thinking on the matter.  

The fact is, God judges not you, not me, and He judges us ALL.  It's not my place to say where someone may go afterwards.  That's not between us, that's between each person and God.  I can't say I'm not a sinner, nor can I say that I'm perfect, because guess what, I'm not.  I'll be judged too.  Guess what, I'm pretty sure God's going to playback the times I screamed at Him for allowing certain things in the world, and for hurts people may never overcome.  I have PTSD, and I had my screaming matches in the woods with God, as well as my moments singing His praises.  I'm sure no one likes to be cussed at, and I'm pretty sure God's no exception, but I also think he probably laughed his butt off at me for even thinking I had the right to yell at Him.

This election has had me very anxious for my fellow Americans.  I don't want to see a five year old die from cancer they could get treated for, because the government says well, you qualify for a bandaid, here you go, and pats them on the head as they send them out the door.  I don't want to see generations before me die earlier than they should, taking their knowledge and wisdom with them, because their heart condition won't get better so we're taking away your medicine but you're welcome to take an aspirin.

I can not believe that we have come to voting for a candidate solely on hate.  I think not long ago, when Trump had a reality show, the media kept saying to love him, he's ruthless, not pc, blunt, brutally honest, so watch and love him and see who gets fired next.  I have never watched "reality" tv personally, but I saw the commercials, I remember how America was encouraged to love him by the media as a darling of reality tv.  Now the media uses those same traits to convince the same people to hate him.  Is your memory so short, are you so fickle America, that you'd allow hate to guide you to socialism and ruin us all?

Trump is the SAME person he was when you were told to love him, and so you did.  I don't like or dislike people because others tell me to. I don't allow others to make up my mind or tell me what to think.  Truth be told, I never met President Trump, and I DON'T  know if I'd like him if I did.  I will not allow others to tell me that I should vote out of hate, anger, ignorance, just because someone's personality can be abrasive.  Guess what, it was abrasive and YOU ALL LOVED HIM FOR IT, because the media told you what to think and so you did.  I don't watch "news" that is nothing more than opinion.  Guess what, if I want an editorial, or opinion, I will ask, OR I'll give you mine.  I'm smart enough to make up my own mind, and I have faith in our people to be able to do the same.

If we lose our elders and ill, and you voted in a socialist, I hope you're prepared to say goodbye.  I'm not ready to say goodbye to those I love, or those who are sick.  If allowed to heal, they could hold a bright future for this world of ours.

While the World Waits to Breathe

 I color because otherwise I might have to up my anxiety dose.

It's hard to know who and what to listen to these days.  If you're like me, u fact check everything.  I have never been one to dislike someone because someone else tells me to.  I watch ppl and make up my own mind.  Unfortunately, we live in a time where hype is followed too closely and the "cool kids" table welcomes few.  Too many out there rely on others to tell them how to feel rather than growing a pair, doing a little work, and making up your own mind.  Why have a mind if u refuse to use it.

Anyway, here's what I've been up to lately, enjoy the pictures!

See you on the flipside.

Friend Coloring Session

 I had the bf's sis and her friend over to celebrate his and Carolyn's birthdays.

These days get togethers have to be small and rare, but we had a lot of fun.  Carolyn's friend Megan got to try her hand with water color pencils and also used a water color pallete w prefilled colors.  It is always fun to color, and especially when you can joke and giggle with friends.  I had a lot of fun seeing someone try new mediums and look forward to see them blossom as they practice their techniques and establish their own unique view of expression through coloring.

I told them I would be sharing their pictures because it's fun to share!  I'm sure people get tired of hearing me prattle on and just share my own art LOL.   Megan made it to the fridge!! LOL I'll share her pictures first, and one that she and I worked on together.  I colored with the water color pencils and she finished it off with the painting part.  I'll share her second picture first, just because it reminded me so much of other famous artists and paintings I've seen, though it took forever for me to put my finger on it.  Then her first picture, followed by the one we did together.

Carolyn's will go next with the two she did with us, followed by my inevitable plethera of pictures from a few weeks....I think.  I couldn't decide which I liked best so I'll close my eyes and click to see which goes first.  They were both wonderful.  One of these days she will have to share some of her acryllic on canvas with us so we can enjoy that too.

Without further delay, I present the accumulation of our artistic minds, as it worked with predrawn pictures for us to fill in LOL!

Oddly, the last picture is the one I did when they visited.  We had so much fun, so hopefully others will have coloring parties too!

A Whole Slew of Pictures

 I've been a bit busy with my color therapy.

Well, between that and playing games on my giant tv.  I've been playing diablo with the bf, and when his sight is lacking I try to help get him through mobs etc.  It's a bit sad that even with this humungous television, there are still times he can't see it well.  I had thought that if I got one large enough, it would circumvent that aspect of his MS.  Most of the time I think he can see it, but I think it's the smaller details he has issues with.  It's very frustrating to us both.

It is a bit funny, tiny apt........super huge television......odd fit, but it works, mostly.

I miss my family, and play days with my niece.  We have to be extra careful with his medication because it all but demolishes his immune system.  The few times I've felt under the weather made me worry because if he caught a bug it would be so much worse for him.  Fortunately it was a lot of nothing, and my body was just reacting badly to lady time....again.  Lucky me LOL.

Lately, I've been looking at the art I've been coloring.  I think I should do something with it.  I was thinking of cards, but also, I would need the proper size and shape envelopes.  Some of the pictures are just so pretty once they're all filled in, it seems a waste to shut them away in a drawer.  I've been having a ton of fun with mixing mediums, and I found a set of 120....I think.....gel glitter pens........  That is a LOTof glitter.  An entire color spectrum of glitter!!!!!  I've been having fun with them as well.  

I think the first picture I'll put on here is one I think I should make into a card and send to my mom.  She was telling me how she did a lot of art with flowers when she was in school.  So the picture made me think of her while I was coloring it.  I mixed all my mediums except for water color, and I think it is a really pretty representation flowers, colors and different mediums working harmoniously.  I had a lot of fun coloring all the pictures, I always do, but I especially liked working on this one, probably because I had mom on mind the whole time.

I LOVE YOU MOM, even if you don't read my blog LOL.  Either way, share share share!

This is what I've worked on for the last little while, look forward to seeing art from out in the blogosphere!!

Adventures in Color Therapy

 I had a failed video appointment at the VA for my PTSD/anxiety.....we ended up having a phone session instead.

This is a new provider to me, and I have to say I think I will like her.  She sounds very much like my primary provider, with her accent, but also with her personality.  She's open and honest, and she also listens, which to me is important.  This was only our first meeting, but I did like her candor and honesty about this or that approach to medical treatment of PTSD/anxiety.  She suggested sexual trauma therapy through the VA, which will take much thought on my part.  I don't think I'd do well in a group setting for several reasons.  One of which being my anxiety itself, but the other thing that seems to put a block on me deciding is that I'm also extremely empathetic.  I understand her reasoning of "avoidance" not being a forward thinking plan, and I agree with her for the most part.

At this point the VA doesn't offer one on one therapy for some things, and for me, living through the traumas of others would entail me absorbing that experience.  My empathy for others would have a negative impact on my psyche, and rather than letting go of this or that event, I think I'd be adding to my own trauma.  To me this would be a set back rather than an advancement, and one I should discuss with her at our next appointment after much thought and consideration into her suggestion.  I wouldn't call what I'm living with avoidance exactly, because at the moment the trauma is primarily being voiced by recurring nightmares, of which there are 3 primary dreams I'm having at the moment.  I'm not really sure how I could grasp fully controlling what I dream, but when I do have nightmares, I typically wake, either by myself or by one of my wonderful little therapy girls crying to wake me up.

I will say this though, for as long as I've missed sleeping, I'm at least glad that the treatment I've undergone this far as allowed for sleep, whether it be plagued with ill dreams or no.  Trying to sleep, and failing is one of the most exhausting things I've experienced in my life, and though no nightmares might lead to more restful sleep.....sleep is sleep and at least I've achieved that for the moment.  To me that is very real progress from where I was to where I am now.

In the meantime, I'm still doing different coping skills I got from CPT therapy, among which is the coloring I've done for a while now.  I'm also getting braver at using this or that technique.  I will share a picture where I used all the types of coloring mediums I have in the same picture, including trying a little layering with markers......LOL.  For me that's pretty adventurous because as previously stated, markers are not my best medium though I do think I'm getting better with them.  I love the vivid colors from markers and gel pens, so learning to properly use them would be lovely, but even if I never master them, at least I've been brave enough to try.

I hope you enjoy the pictures I share, and I would absolutely love for others to share their art and stories with me!

As always, enjoy, and remember, there is no wrong way to color.......if you simply need to scribble out frustration or anger.....go for it!

Catching up

I've been taking time lately to work on books I've already reviewed.

My BF was recently diagnosed with MS, and we have been dealing with that, the craziness that brings with his meds destroying his immune system and our need to isolate due to that, and then the added necessity due to covid.  Every person has different symptoms as well as experiences.  His has been very trying for us both.  His vision completely going was what eventually led to his diagnosis, and while it's come back somewhat, it varies from day to day, which is frustrating for us both, because sometimes he can see, sometimes not, and I try to share this or that with him not knowing when he is able to see things.

He is in constant pain, and his hands and limbs do not always obey him.  It makes it extra hard to keep him occupied with things he is capable of doing, with his hand and vision issues, playing video games etc is a frustration for him, and he often gets VERY negative.  We finally decided maybe getting a HUGE smart tv might help, though our apartment is not large.  That way he might be able to see and enjoy shows, and may be able to try games on days when his sight and hands are behaving somewhat.  I've suggested things like books on audio etc, but he doesn't seem overly interested in that.  I think at this point he is mostly just trying to keep what senses he does have, and fighting to make them work the best he is able.

With his medical issues and my PTSD and anxiety, it's quite difficult at times to get along.  I do my best to be supportive and encouraging, but it's definitely difficult when his anger, frustration, and depression takes a turn for the worst.  There are times he talks about not wanting to be here, and since I watch him daily struggle to walk, try to keep entertained, frustration over being isolated at home, and more so since people won't follow directions during this whole covid thing, I understand.  I know me, and I'd find positive things or at least look to keep me going.  I also don't suffer from clinical depression though, and so I know it's a larger struggle for him to get to that same point.

I watch the insanity of the present goings on in the world and think that people don't understand that all of this, makes it more difficult on those of us who are stuck in isolation for medical issues already to heap on the issues of people meeting for these politically charged riots etc and not following the recommended courses of action to keep the spread of covid down.  All it does is make us less able to go places safely due to added issues.  I won't even touch on the current insanity of people rioting and thinking that they are within their rights to protest, when clearly they are breaking the law, causing harm, death, destruction, and chaos rather than peaceful protest.

Either way, I'll still be sharing my art I've been working on to try and keep my own PTSD/anxiety in check through all of this.

As you can tell, I've been busy with art, hopefully you have some awesome coping mechanisms for this current insanity as well!