I call her my little Angel

My little Annabelle Lee...

I've talked a little bit about what the difference is between a pet and a therapy animal.  The end of last month through a good bit of this one, I learned just how amazing my little lady could be.  We had an unexplained and urgent medical issue, which I won't discuss here because 1. it's not my story to tell, and 2. this is about how amazing a little 5 lb girl less than 2 yrs old was during all of it.

Meet my beautiful little angel, Annabelle Lee.  She's always very affectionate, but her patience was put to the test when she was asked to go from doctor to doctor and sit patiently on a lap through so many visits and then during a hospital stay.  Always on her leash, even during the hospital visit, her ability to roam was seriously limited.  I had brought puppy pads in case she needed to use them, but she instinctively knew what kind of place we were in and refused to use them.  I took her out a few times where she did go number one, but again, refused to go number 2 in a place of healing.  On those few occasions, I allowed her to walk through the hospital halls where she was on her lead that does stretch out, to give her some freedom from the confines of a lap.  My little lady was SO amazing, she walked beautifully, responding to me locking and gently pulling right or left to indicate which direction to go.  She didn't bark at the doctors, nurses, maintenance staff etc.  Everyone that met her either on the floor where we were or walking through the halls seemed so amazed that a chihuahua wasn't yippy, and for her size how amazingly well behaved she was.

Well, yes, she does have chihuahua in her, but she also has rat terrier, I think they also tend to high energy antics.  I've never had one so I can't say for sure.  I wish I could take credit for her amazing performance, but honestly, I think she simply has an innate ability.  I've taught her some things, which she's still learning, she is still a baby after all LOL not sure any other 18 month old babies could have withstood all of this.  She is typically very good at knowing the difference between her indoor voice and her outdoor voice.  I have been telling her since she was small, thank you for letting me know you hear a noise or see a person, but please no shouting, we can use our indoor voice.  She IS talkative, and I think some people mistake her talking for aggression, because when she uses her indoor talking to people voice, it sort of sounds like rrrrrrrrrr but with very little mouth opening so I think some people think it's a growl.

She doesn't talk to everyone, but people she REALLY likes and wants to pet her she talks to, to let them know she'd like pets and that she's not done with them yet LOL.  She has been going everywhere with me ever since she was very small, so part of all of this is that she knows she must behave to be able to come.  She also knows that MOST places she is carried from entry to exit.  The ability to walk the hospital corridors was a VERY rare occasion, to let her take a break from her work.  The only issue she seemed to have with all of this was people just coming and going from the hospital room.  She would get louder than normal for indoors at times, though I'd say about 90% of the time she maintained her indoor demeanor and showed off her abilities beautifully.  Of course, in her defense, her person was not well, AND she'd never had people coming and going without being permitted in.

I can not imagine how, even though she's gone everywhere with me since she was little, she knew how to be SO amazing and patient.  This was not her normal run about town, to a doctor appointment, grocery shopping, etc.  This was SO much more difficult and stressful for everyone, and being someone who can't verbalize her concerns, or how she was feeling, she truly, truly showed me just how amazing a little girl she is.  People that knew what happened, and how amazing she was through it all, just broke down in tears because she's just such a special angel.  They were touched, as I am everyday, to see what a loving, supportive, and patient little girl she really is.  She's never received formal training, she was picked for us by my sister who saw her nature, and knew what type of personality was needed.

Honestly, she was so in her element, and walked through the hospital so naturally, that I may have to get her a doctor's coat and stethoscope, just so she's properly attired.  I was thinking of combining this with some reviews of books that were long overdue because of all that's happened, but I think, this post should simply remain about her.  I can't thank my sister enough, nor those who had her in the litter of puppies and gave her to me.  If only you all knew JUST how amazing she is, you'd cry too, just like I do when I stop to think of it.  I can't help it, it's not because I'm sad, it's because she is just so amazing I can't help but to be touched by her generous nature over and over again.

My little angel, My Annabelle Lee.  A tiny dog (and my lovely daughter) with a LONG name, and possibly the biggest heart it's been my privilege to know.

Mandalas

Up to this point I've stayed away from Mandalas.

They are supposed to be soothing and meditative as a project to color regardless of the reason you take up this activity.  To be honest, whenever I've looked at books of mandala's in the past I found them pretty, but also they didn't speak to me....I felt like they were too busy, or frustrating to color.

When I picked up this book, I actually found the pictures to be relatively less busy, and so I thought, Ok I'll take this home, and review it for those that might be interested in mandalas.  There were a TON of lead in pages, including the cover, which for once, I did NOT color LOL, I used that as a color test page since I did not see one in the book.  There are numerous artists, listed in the back of the book.

This book is double sided and I would suggest putting paper in between colored as well as a few pages behind what you are coloring to preserve the integrity of the art and your creativity.  I can always download an example of bleed through coloring or rather bleed OVER on one of the lead in pages if necessary, but I think people understand what I mean by this.  The bleed over occurred when I was doing one of the actual pages, it'll be the one I did in greys.  I used warm, cool, and french versions which to me seem a bit on the brown side.  I think some will realize on one lead in page I did primary and secondary colors as well as a mandala with all the primarys, blue,red and yellow, and one with all the secondary colors as well purple, green and orange.

The paper is nice and heavy, and takes light colors well as well as layering for darker colors.  I have examples of each since there were so many lead in pages.  I would definitely be careful to preserve the integrity of the art if using water colors or markers, but I think gel would be ok without bleed through.  I didn't feel like thinking about colors, so I decided to try a new thing....using my prismacolor set in order....mostly....of the numbers, minus the black and browns on the 2 lead in pages and the one that I did in heavier colors.  Even minus the blacks and browns it took all three pages to get to the end of the colors, though to be fair, one of the lead in pages had very little to color.

I actually did the same on the grey page, but ran out of the grey greys and included green greys, blue greys etc at the end.  The only difference on that one is, I began with the 90% colors in each warm, cool and french and worked my way out to the 10%s before I moved on to include the extra greys in other colors.

All in all, I did have fun doing these, although some were so involved that they did take me a while to color.  I'll begin with the cover and then share the lead in pages in order so you can see how the book begins.....if you're as anal as me about doing things in order, you're likely to need to begin the same way.

I hope this gives you a good idea of Mandalas and if they might be a good project for you!  As always I look forward to seeing your art and input as well, enjoy!

Pets Vs. ESA/Service Animals

Recently, I had cause to look at this issue from both sides.

In fact, I was pushed into a full PTSD outburst/episode, which lasted for several weeks.  During this time, I was unable to process, think clearly, and I'm told the day of the incident I may not have been driving my best.....and I pride myself on being an excellent driver.  My cognition was severely impaired, and I had to reach out to patient advocates at the VA on several occasions to finally express fully what had occurred to cause this episode. 

Unfortunately, my Psychiatrist of several years, moved on to another facility, I wish her all the best of course, she's excellent at her job.  This move necessitated a need to find a new provider.  This came at a time also, when I was renewing my lease on my apartment.  The apartment manager discussed with me their new partner, and the need to fill out additional paperwork required by them on my animals, since their policy was not to accept letters from doctors/social workers etc regarding service animals, but to have their own form filled out by a Physician.  I fail to see how this is different or better, but I made steps to ensure that this was going to be done, and informed them, I didn't have a time frame as my Psychiatrist had accepted a position at another facility, and that I'd yet to see a new one.

Granted, I had letters from my primary MD, social worker for the Women's clinic at the VA and my Psychiatrist sent directly to my apartment complex from the VA, so it wasn't as if there weren't options, or documentation.  I also had documentation in my record from the Psychology department during my CPT therapy, outlining coping methods and recommendations about different means of achieving these methods.  I simply reached out to the area in which it seemed to make the most sense to fulfill the apartment manager and their partners requirements.

When I was given a new provider, I made an appointment to see her for June 26th, to discuss previous treatment, future treatment, and the forms that my apartment office faxed to them the morning of my appointment to make it easier to address at that time.  As we entered her office, and sat, we opened the discussion with how I was managing everything.  I informed her, I was having issues sleeping.....no great surprise, I've had these issues for years.  But new on that front were recurring dreams of differing degrees regarding my PTSD.  I outlined daily life, etc, as truthfully as I could, letting her know how things were progressing, or regressing and in what areas.

After this, I wanted to quickly address my apartment offices need and get that done and put aside quickly so we could focus on more important issues.  I brought up the faxed document as soon as I could, and explained to her that this was a new requirement even though they had letters, of which were documented also in my medical records through the VA, by my prior provider and MD etc.  Then came the bomb....stunning me beyond all belief.

This woman states that she does not believe in service animals EXCEPT for those that are professionally trained.  Given her profession, I could not believe what was coming out of her mouth.  Professionally trained animals are those for PHYSICAL limitations.  Including those who have the innate ability to sense the onset of seizure episodes.  As far as I've ever seen or heard, I've yet to see any animal "trained" to cope with those special needs that arise from mental limitations.  Those animals chosen, are typically chosen by conscientious breeders that understand the personality required, or are chosen by those who need them according to what their own needs are, and they are trained by that owner according to their needs, and the animal's ability to meet those needs.  For this reason, there are no limitations on how many animals or what type of animal are needed to meet these needs according to the laws governing animals obtained or kept for these purposes.  The owner is responsible for their animals actions and their training/socialization with other people or animals.

I expressed my concern about this woman's opinion to her, touching on the fact that by what she'd said, it lead one to think that the only people that needed service animals, or who should legally be allowed them, were those with physical limitations of some kind.  To which she replied that wasn't true.........really....... I further explained that breeders and those with the mental limitations were conscientious when looking for animals who would be able to be trained to handle physical limitation training, but also those that were able to also be given directly to those who had mental limitations as well, so that they could get that animal acclimated to their personal needs.  I broke down into tears, she was worse than talking to a wall, I'd get more emotional understanding from one of them.  I could no longer function, my cognition was completely gone, trying to express myself, all the words I could utter were a few intelligent ones mixed with fuck fuck fuck and more fuck.  I'm sure I made perfect sense at that stage of our "appointment".

She then said I could request a new provider..........she WAS the new provider LOL, and that no guarantees could be made that the next provider would be any more cognizant of the needs of those who relied so much on their animal for comfort etc.  It was at this point my Annabelle Lee became frantic trying to comfort me, in the best way she could, which SHOULD have illustrated for this mental midget exactly what an ESA does.  I filled out the paper to request a new provider, outlining my need for someone who can read my file, see what was previously prescribed to me....IE my ESA's, and who's beliefs were aligned with my own.

Before leaving her office, she stated that IF my condition was stable, I could simply continue medication etc with my primary provider.....  LOL I about fell over laughing at her, and asked, what.....of ALL the things I told you when I first entered your office and you asked about, would lead you to the conclusion exactly, that my condition is at ALL stable?  She replied, none.  I then replied, exactly....also, for your information, I hold my BS in Psychology, and by all recognition by other scholars AM, in fact a psychologist, though I can't practice until I hold an MS or PhD.  I would think you'd understand I'm FULLY capable of choosing an animal by it's nature and personality WITHOUT the aid of a supposed "professional trainer", and furthermore, there is NO one more qualified than me to know what needs I do have regarding an animal to fill that position.

I left, went to the desk, handed them the change of provider form and asked them NOT to call me until they could guarantee that there was a provider who was capable of fulfilling MY needs and belief system.  I did all of this while shaking in rage.  It is NOT easy to hold your anger in check when it's been pushed beyond your ability to do so.  I am fortunate that thus far, I've been able to keep from throttling those who've pushed me beyond my ability to control that rage.

From there I drove home, apparently not noticing some things....IE a few red lights, which should also tell others JUST how dangerous a PTSD episode can be, not just to me, but to those around me.  A professional, would have 1, not pushed me into having one 2, recognized that I was in one 3, kept me until an episode passed etc.  I can't even express how upset I am that I was allowed to leave in a condition where my cognition was so impaired that driving was a danger.  Fortunately, I got home safely, and there were no incidents by other motorists around me that I'd caused in my impaired state.  I'll be eternally grateful for that.

I immediately began to try and address the issue, reaching out to department heads, patient advocates etc, but I was not fully cognizant of how to express the magnitude of the situation, other than to say, this is very important, this must be addressed and must be kept from occurring to another veteran.  It took me several tries and weeks until finally I was able to fully express my concern about this situation.  I told the director of the Psychiatry department, that my concern was that this provider was acting on a belief system that was neither in keeping with the law NOR was it in keeping with the VA's mission statement.  I stated that as a veteran, I served my country so that each person was able to have their opinion and beliefs, and that I respect those who's opinions vary from my own.  I try to understand them, though I can not always agree about what's right.  I further stated that I could understand how she would come to the conclusion that all animals in essence filled that role within a family to some degree.  I also said, that there was, however a world of difference between a child who needed a playmate and confidant, and a person who relies on an animal to keep them grounded and thinking clearly when things go to far afield.  I told her, that during my time as a corpsman, diagnosing and treating patients I adhered to the standard of care, and that means that even IF my belief was in direct conflict with a treatment I would NOT EVER have refused that treatment.  A prime example would be those who had to be chronically treated for STD's because of dangerous and irresponsible behavior.  I do not condone, nor do I believe that living that way is morally correct, nor is it right, HOWEVER I'm certainly not going to refuse treatment to someone with chlamydia, gonorrhea, aids, syphilis etc. just because I don't believe in the lifestyle that person is living  It is not in keeping with the standard of care for that issue, NOR is it morally correct to impose my belief system on another by use of withholding treatment due to that belief.  I further indicated that this person should perhaps be educated in the difference between a pet and a therapy animal, and also the difference between upholding a standard of care, and imposing their personal beliefs on others in order to refuse that care.  If that person was practicing within the confines of their OWN practice, they may be able to do something like that, but the VA's mission is to give the care NEEDED by the veteran, DESERVING of the veteran, and do so with the most understanding and care that can be given by the provider in order to do so.

Now I think I'll discuss the difference between a pet and an animal that has a hard and sometimes tricky job to do.  I've adored EVERY single pet I've ever had.  I remember them all, and miss them every day.  I will be the first to admit that sometimes if I've been sad, or busy, or stressed, my pet at the time could sense that, and react according to what they might perceive that I needed at that particular time.  HOWEVER, this episode has clarified things so definitely for me given the reactions of the animals I can proudly call my ESAs.  The day this occured, Annabelle Lee knew I was in crisis.  She had seen it here and there before.  She goes with me everywhere I go, and is used to being petted etc by others.  I'm hoping to train her to the point where I'd be confident taking her to visit other veteran's in need of her special kind of medicine.  Therefore, I explain to others that part of her job is to be given pets and attention, and I'd never want to take her job away from her, she enjoys it.

Annabelle Lee did all the things that she, as my ESA had helped pull me out of crisis in the past.  This time it was a bit harder for her, and it lasted much longer than even I could have anticipated.  Not only was she working on this crisis situation, but the kitten we found in a bush and raised from a week old, also now an ESA, sensed the need to help, she climbed into my arms, forcing me to cradle her like an infant, while she put her nose to mine for kitten kisses.  Annabelle Lee pushes her lips on mine with all the force in her little 5 pound body behind it for kisses.  Everything these babies do amazes me daily.  It's taken me more than a month to be able to share this experience, and the whole time, my faithful little Annabelle has been at my side while I've stopped to think, typed, etc in order to try and tell the whole story as truthfully as I can remember it.  She's occasionally hopped up to lick tears from my face as this experience has been very hurtful, concerning, frustrating, and just plain sad.

Every day, I can't believe how fortunate I am to have these animals, and every day I can't believe how amazing they are.  I'm not saying that my previous pets weren't amazing, they absolutely were, but this goes beyond that bond between pet and owner in a way I'm not even sure I can explain.  I'm struggling to find the words, and finding myself lacking.  All I can say is I rely on them, and am amazed that they are so willing to know I do, and are so willing to act on those needs.  I am truly blessed to have these little angels, and I know I don't deserve them, but I'll do all I can to make sure they have as healthy and happy a life I can give them despite my shortcomings.

I think I need a hippopotamus as an ESA.....I can take one on a plane right?

PTSD Dreams & A New Book

I said I'd discuss my reoccurring dreams.

It's taken me a bit to figure out what to say.  They are very personal, and can often be very upsetting.  When I wake, the dream can also follow me throughout the day, though I don't want them to.  I don't think I can get into super detail, because just discussing them is bringing me to the point of tears.  I will do my best to help others understand why it's so hard to simply "move past the past" or "just get over it" or don't dwell on things".  Theser are all things commonly said to others just like me.  They are said to those with severe depression, PTSD, anxiety, and a slew of other disorders.

I did not always have the issues I have with nightmares, disturbing dreams etc.  I did not always have to sleep with the TV on to quiet my brain until I finally fell asleep, and then could wake long enough to turn it off.  I did not always have to chase my sleep cycle around and around the clock, desperately trying to maintain a "normal" sleep cycle like every one else.  I did not always have days/weeks where I couldn't sleep no matter what I tried, only to finally fall into a sleep that could last 24 hours, because of sheer exhaustion.

All of this is rather new to me, within the past 6 or so years I think, I'm no longer really good with time frames, so I guesstimate a lot.  Because of how my "first time" happened, I have dreams reference  that a lot.  Sometimes every day.  In many of my dreams I'm back in school, but I already have my diploma, college degree etc.  I'm seeking someone, or trying to decide with whom I have my "first time".  I was a little shy when I was younger, so there are a few obstacles to overcome.  One of which is getting up the courage to talk to a boy I liked etc.  This type of dream is more on the side of frustration, because of the many things one goes through to find someone they love enough to take that adventure with.  It's also frustrating because when I wake, I know exactly why I was dreaming such things.  I don't dwell in the past, apparently the past dwells deep inside me.

This is one of the more mild dreams I have, there are others where events are somewhat more disturbing, and graphic.  Violence relived again, and again, whether I want to or not.  Also, dreams where I'm trying to convince an ex to find respect for me inside themselves, despite the things I'd undergone.  All in all, my dreams seem to be full of turbulence and frustration.  The times I dream something other than one of the few repeat dreams I do have is a sweet relief.  I can wake with more peace, or sleep through an entire night/day depending on how bad my sleep cycle is at that particular time.  I don't know if MORE details would help anyone, or if just talking about how these dreams manifest and make me feel are help enough to someone out there.  I do always help that somehow, someway, someone that needs this help finds it, and knows they are not alone, or someone who misunderstands someone reads it and it enlightens them, in a way where their relationship, whatever it may be with others is one of more understanding, love and acceptance.  Someday, I might be able to go more deeply in detail, but today is not that day.  My face is already soaked, trying to convey some form of communication and understanding to others.  If I've managed to convey that and it's able to be followed, hooray.  If it's jumbled and hard to understand I apologize.

Now it's time for more fun conversation.  I have a new book to discuss!!  One of many ways I cope, calm my mind, search for creative problem solving etc, is through this pastime.  I am pleased to share another work from Ms Johanna Basford.  This one is Ivy and the Inky Butterfly.

In this book we stray from her usual composition in presentation.  Rather than the one sided pages with light grey scale on the back side, we have two sided pages, in which I use graph paper to preserve the integrity of the art.  This time, she also decided to follow a sense of whimsy and tell a tale while bring her art to others as well.  As usual for her, there is art leading into the book, as well as nice thick pages that would take any medium, and a place in the back to test colors if you have a need to find colors that go well together.

I had fun with my crayola set, and also my prismacolor set in different areas of this book.  It's fun to color when pages are smooth and the color lays down evenly, but there is also some fun in textured pages to use different techniques.  These pages are lovely and smooth.  As usual, I colored the lead in art, including the cover page, and I'll share them all with you.  I think this book would be a fun project for Parent/child, Grandparent/Aunt/Uncle/child to do together, and read the story as you progress through the book.  Or you could do this alone, and then share it with the children in your life and look at all the ways you colored it together as you read the story.

I also decided I would share a few pictures of my favorite tree in my apartment complex.....well one of them.  It's just so pretty when it blossoms each spring.  Either way, PICTURE TIME!!!  ENJOY!

Hopefully this entry helps others, and we all find some beauty in each day!

Two New Books

Usually, when I introduce a new book, I color all the leading pages and show them.

This time, I took a page out of the first book to color it, and will do the lead ins the next time I reintroduce it with more art from it.  The first book is Rainforest Escape by Jade Gedeon.  It's a very well done book on lovely, thick, one sided water color paper.  The entries also have perforated edges for easy removal either before or after coloring/painting them.  There are several large pictures too, that have fold out pages so that you don't have to try and piece them together after coloring or painting them separately.

I decided I'd try a new method to color the entry I'm providing from this book.  Since it is made for water colors, I thought I'd try a layering method with markers first, since the paper is designed to help soak up excess moisture.  I then layered some colored pencils on top of the marker, and finished it off with some glitter gel pens for a little additional depth.  I took several pictures of it, so that I can hopefully share the way the layering shows different colors, along with a little glitter.  I also, decided that I'd try to create the blurred effect of some flowering plant in the background, and then filled in around that with some colors to have a sky effect.  I'm not the best artist out there, so I'm pretty sure that other people could have done a far better job than I, but there is no wrong way to color.  It's about enjoying your project, allowing it to affect and lower stress, anxiety etc.  It's also a great way to get both sides of your brain working in cooperation with one another for some great and creative problem solving outcomes.

The second book I think is aimed more at the male population that may enjoy coloring as a method of stress relief, creativity etc.  It's called Illustrations by T It's Just a Flirt.  It has varying girls inside with flirtatious expressions.  I'm sure that anyone would enjoy this book, but given the subjects of the art, I think it was aimed at giving men some acceptable outlets for their creativity as well.  The paper is medium quality, one sided, but not perforated, so I'd use care when tearing away a picture if you wanted to remove it before or after coloring.  I left the bottom of the picture intact since it indicates the artist that originally drew the picture.

As always I'm still working on other entries to share, the next of which, I think will deal with some of the issues I have with recurring dreams with regards to PTSD, and sleep issues.  Until next time, enjoy and share your art and stories with me too!

Mindless Moron ? My Views on a Political Pariah

I think it would be incorrect to label her as a mindless moron.

I have a distinct impression of Ocasio-Cortez, which has been building through the media attention she's been collecting along her current path.  Unfortunately, the view is somewhat dim, as I listen to quotes from her regarding this and that.  It seems to me that she was intelligent enough to pick out intelligent conversations during her time as a bar tender, and to hear bits of this and that, however, she never thought to research or learn about what it was she chooses to attempt to quote or speak about.  It's a simple parroting technique to attempt to sound intelligent, but without the full insight to form an actual, or original opinion on any specific subject.  In other words, her intellect is minimal at best.

Being able to pick up or listen to conversations from others that hold a true depth of thought is one thing, but listening to an argument in whole, or finding out for yourself the truth of this or that argument would take it further, and allow you to find out if you truly think that this or that view is worth your time.  In order to completely come to that type of conclusion, it would be infinitely useful to understand and know both sides of any argument or viewpoint, so that you could effectively counter any opposition from the other side of any view.  This is not something she's done.  When confronted with a difference of opinion, she shouts, yells and cries like a petulant child wanting everyone to think she's intelligent or right.

This tendency only marks her ineptitude for the position she's been voted to fill, and marks her as extremely young, and juvenile in both thought and speech.  I recall when I was young and wanted so desperately for others to know and understand who I was, and I recall so many others who have taken the same path.  It's a typical path everyone takes.  We want those around us to know and understand us, but we should still understand our own limits while pursuing such a path.  This is what has eluded her, and many others like her.  I, for one, am extremely happy that she's on the other side of the spectrum of my views and opinions, as her "arguments" of her views only strengthen my views because of her ineptitude for expressing or understanding her own viewpoints.  I feel very sorry for those she represents, as well as those who share her party, as she's effectively destroying any positive feelings for them, as well as her supposed views.

It would behoove her party mates to find a way to silence her, educate her, or get rid of her.  The most I can say about her in a positive light, is that at the very least, her antics, while tiring, and irritating, also give me quite a few chuckles.  Unfortunately, laughing at someones ignorance isn't something I relish.  I can't tolerate stupidity, personally.  I'd much prefer to laugh at an intelligent joke, with depth, than the buffoonery of some poor soul who doesn't even realize what an idiotic mess she is.

A Few New Books

I was going to wait and post 4 new books all at once.

I changed my mind because I'm also working on a family photo album for FB and my family and friends to chuckle at and enjoy.  I'm sure my sister will have to correct me on some of the dates and places, because she's much better at remembering those things.  I'd love for her, mom, Bruce, Dave, Ryan and everyone to be able to contribute if they have some to share, but not everyone has time to go and photograph every picture they have and then try and sharpen them etc so they're viewable on the interwebs LOL.  I've got my work cut out for me there.  Some of the pictures are so wonderful, but when you photograph them they become a little blurred looking.  I'm hoping that I can correct that so everyone can get the fullest enjoyment from them possible.

I wish I had more from my time in school, but not being one to go to parties or on dates kind of limited the ones I have for that time, but I'd welcome entries from others, and love looking at pages from others that remind me of this or that time.  My time was primarily taken up with babysitting, working at the YMCA child development center, doing homework, and studying.  I know, I was a very exciting and unforgettable girl.....rofl.  Perhaps others will be prompted to add to, or share so we can all enjoy running through all those wonderful memories of times when life was just a little easier, and problems were something our parents dealt with on our behalves.

At any rate, I do have two new books to share while I'm doing work on that album, and also working on some entries from another two books before continuing with the Christmas card book.  The first book is one from an artist that goes by Whitestag, and their books are numbered rather than a formal title.  The book I have to share is number 6 in the series.  It's a rather Halloweeny type book, and is a bit fun to color.  I think all the books bear the title Misfits along with the series numbers.  The pages are a medium thickness and are one sided so I think any type of medium would work with them, but I would advise either removing pages or putting paper/wax paper between the pages if you're using ones with more wetness to protect from bleed through effects.  I always do this just because I'm on the anal side, and like to make sure that I'm protecting my past work, as well as preserving the integrity of future works.  Unless I'm coloring with my niece, or someone requests a specific picture from a book, I tend to go front to back.  Sometimes it's not easy to be such a creature of habit, especially if there's a particular picture you're really looking forward to getting to color.

The second book is Dragons and Other Mythical Creatures by Chris Tomlin.  I'm including some of the art in the book meant to lead into it as well, because it was so much fun to look at when I was getting ready to color the first picture myself.  The pages are of a very good thickness, and definitely any medium would be excellent.  I'll have fun exploring the possibilities once I can get back to that book.  The paper is of a very smooth composition, so I would be careful with some mediums as they might tend to take longer than normal to dry, or they might not absorb into the paper as readily as others, so I'd definitely take my time working on any picture with mediums such as water colors, gel pens, markers etc, that could be ruined if you don't account for the time it may take to dry as you're working.  I had a lot of fun with the first picture which was a partial drawing of a dragon, and decided to use primary colors for the majority of the picture, with a splash of secondary colors thrown in here and there just because I could.

As usual, I hope you enjoy the pictures I share as much as I enjoy coloring them and sharing them with you.  I look forward to seeing other's works as well, whenever they share with me!  Until next time, don't be afraid to try out other types of mediums, because there's absolutely no right or wrong way to be artistic!

A Rant and Some Art

I did say I'd probably rant about one of my pet peeves.

When I was in the military, I was stationed in a clinic, where about 80% of the staff was on anti-depressants.  At one point I was having a hard time coping, my ex and I were separated, I had just had surgery and some other things had come to the surface.  I happened to think to myself......self, we have a psych staff to help us get through these kinds of things, so I think I'll make myself an appointment with one and unload all this to someone that is a professional and might have some insights to help me better cope with the turns life had taken.

I had made the appointment and cried and told him about when I'd lost my virginity to someone I had not chosen to give it to, and about my current situation, and that I was having a hard time coping because there was so much pain all at once.  So he says to me, well it sounds like you're pretty depressed.  I was sitting there thinking did you not just hear everything I told you?  He then asks me if I'd like anti-depressants to help cope.  I blew UP at this man.  I basically told him how dare he suggest that this would be a fix for me, I wasn't and had never been determined to be clinically depressed, meaning that I had a chemical imbalance that medication would help to stabilize.  I said sometimes crap just happens in life, and you cry because it's not pleasant, and if I came to you and said all this to you and was HAPPY about all this, then you should worry because all the stuff I'd unloaded were things that were heartbreaking, and happiness would be the inappropriate reaction to have to it all.  I went on to berate him because if he wasn't the main problem medicating well over half of my command wrongly, then he was most certainly a big part of the problem.

I have a HUGE issue with this because those that over diagnose things, especially something as serious as this, have a tendency to make a crack judgment, toss people on medications that over time harm them, and if they didn't have a chemical imbalance, they most certainly will develop one.  Not to mention the fact that it creates misconceptions, misinformation, mistreatment, and misunderstandings of the REAL danger, clinical depression.  People begin to think things like, oh well I was sad because of life, so I took antidepressants and now I don't need them because I got over it, so everyone who's depressed can just get over it blah blah, and more nonsense.  This is why people get overlooked, why they are misunderstood by family and friends, people who if they knew it was like a bus with no driver moving 90 miles an hour might be more apt to take a more loving and supportive approach.  They might take the attitude, you know, when you're depressed you don't have to wear a painted smile with me, if you feel like crying, cry, and I'll hold you as tight as I can and love you as much as I can, and try to be whatever you need to help you get to the other side of the abyss.  I think that what they don't realize is that someone who's in a depressed state can still find a joke funny, and laugh one minute but feel very alone or isolated the next.  It's not something that is a simple thing with a simple fix, and some really awesome people have taken their own lives because of the over treatment, and misunderstanding of clinical depression.

This loss is a loss not just to their families, it's a loss to us all. These are people that will leave a big hole in the lives of the ones they've left behind, and in some cases, a loss of something in the lives of people they were meant to meet and never did.  I just cry when I think of how much easier it would be to NOT overlook the seriousness of this, if it weren't for the over diagnosis and medication in cases where there are too many not clinically depressed being treated as if they were.  It creates a problem not just with normal laymen but also with the medical side, where too many who are in serious need can be missed or overlooked.  I can only hope that we learn to open our eyes and our hearts and try our best to understand those who may be in our lives and suffering from clinical depression, rather than giving them all too simple solutions such as just don't think about it, or move on, or get over it.

Alright, I think that's enough ranting for one day.  On to more pleasant things....ART!!!

The first book I'm sharing I've shared before, but it was a long while ago, so I'll share a few pieces.  I think after I've colored the whole thing I'll look up the actual artists pieces that she'd painted to see where we might see something similar and see something different in each piece.  The book is from Jasmine Becket-Griffith called A Fantasy Art Adventure.  The picture I've done most recently is the one titled Loup-Garou Noir.  I tried to take a few pictures to show the lavender highlights I used to try and give some depth to her hair, but I'm not sure it comes through very well LOL.  The other one I'm sharing as a great example of her art as well, but it's one I shared before.  It's titled The World and refers to the tarot card of the same name.  I can't remember when I shared it, but I think it's been a few years at least.

I also have another card to share from Rebecca Jones book, and I'll probably try and continue to do at least one each time throughout the year, then they'll be done in time for Christmas next year!  At any rate, hopefully you will enjoy the ones I've shared today, and hopefully will share your art with me too.

Huggles to all, and be good to one another!

Christmas All Year Round

It's no big secret that I love Christmas.

I love that people seem to be warmer and kinder to one another.....although, at times it also has a reverse effect on some.  I try to keep my warm and kind feeling all year long or for as long as I can.  This year, one of the ways I think I'll do that is by coloring cards from the book I previously shared, by Rebecca Jones.  I'm going to color the whole thing, which means you'll get to see them all here too once they're done.  You may even see one that will come to you when the time to send cards comes around again.

I think I'll also give small things to those I love year round, (I already to that sometimes), just to remind them I love them.  I've also thought about coloring some pictures and framing them for others to keep year round.  I have a small plan to keep my Christmas warmth year round, so I might feel all Christmassy every day.  At any rate, I'll share the first of the cards I'm coloring this year, and share them at they're finished.  Hopefully you enjoy, and also have a plan of your own to remain warm and cozy all the year long in your heart too.

It also helps to recall at least one Christmas song a day and sing too, but as always I look forward to you sharing with me, your art and insights!!