Squashed

Under the weight I feel beginning at the top of my head.

There are just some days you feel the weight of the world so heavily on you that it literally feels like you're being compressed under the weight of it.  I'm not quite sure how or why it is, all I know is that it IS.  I'm not even sure that clear thinking is able to be done at these times, because I feel as if it's relatively difficult to form a complete or logical sentence.

I've recently had a bout of nostalgia and have been trying to look up people that I remember from days gone by to see how they fare.  Hopefully they fare better than I, since my life leaves a lot to be desired.  Rather a lackluster affair right now LOL.  But I'm happy to say, the ones who's names I could remember seem to be faring fairly well thus far, and for that I'm eternally thankful.  I'm not sure why it's important that others are doing well when you're in a state of fluctuation, instability, or upheaval, but for some odd reason it is.

Perhaps it's because it reestablishes hope or peace to know that sometimes things can work out for others, even if not for yourself.  It soothes me to know that I'm not completely lacking in my ability to determine goodness in others.  Perhaps it wasn't me choosing poorly that resulted in the current pains of the day, but perhaps it was poor people choosing me which led to it.  I am gullible, and do tend to believe in others, giving the benefit of the doubt until it's proven I shouldn't have put faith in them.

It's just nice to know that my impressions of who/what some people were still holds true today, where others closer to me have failed.