Recently, I had cause to look at this issue from both sides.
In fact, I was pushed into a full PTSD outburst/episode, which lasted for several weeks. During this time, I was unable to process, think clearly, and I'm told the day of the incident I may not have been driving my best.....and I pride myself on being an excellent driver. My cognition was severely impaired, and I had to reach out to patient advocates at the VA on several occasions to finally express fully what had occurred to cause this episode.
Unfortunately, my Psychiatrist of several years, moved on to another facility, I wish her all the best of course, she's excellent at her job. This move necessitated a need to find a new provider. This came at a time also, when I was renewing my lease on my apartment. The apartment manager discussed with me their new partner, and the need to fill out additional paperwork required by them on my animals, since their policy was not to accept letters from doctors/social workers etc regarding service animals, but to have their own form filled out by a Physician. I fail to see how this is different or better, but I made steps to ensure that this was going to be done, and informed them, I didn't have a time frame as my Psychiatrist had accepted a position at another facility, and that I'd yet to see a new one.
Granted, I had letters from my primary MD, social worker for the Women's clinic at the VA and my Psychiatrist sent directly to my apartment complex from the VA, so it wasn't as if there weren't options, or documentation. I also had documentation in my record from the Psychology department during my CPT therapy, outlining coping methods and recommendations about different means of achieving these methods. I simply reached out to the area in which it seemed to make the most sense to fulfill the apartment manager and their partners requirements.
When I was given a new provider, I made an appointment to see her for June 26th, to discuss previous treatment, future treatment, and the forms that my apartment office faxed to them the morning of my appointment to make it easier to address at that time. As we entered her office, and sat, we opened the discussion with how I was managing everything. I informed her, I was having issues sleeping.....no great surprise, I've had these issues for years. But new on that front were recurring dreams of differing degrees regarding my PTSD. I outlined daily life, etc, as truthfully as I could, letting her know how things were progressing, or regressing and in what areas.
After this, I wanted to quickly address my apartment offices need and get that done and put aside quickly so we could focus on more important issues. I brought up the faxed document as soon as I could, and explained to her that this was a new requirement even though they had letters, of which were documented also in my medical records through the VA, by my prior provider and MD etc. Then came the bomb....stunning me beyond all belief.
This woman states that she does not believe in service animals EXCEPT for those that are professionally trained. Given her profession, I could not believe what was coming out of her mouth. Professionally trained animals are those for PHYSICAL limitations. Including those who have the innate ability to sense the onset of seizure episodes. As far as I've ever seen or heard, I've yet to see any animal "trained" to cope with those special needs that arise from mental limitations. Those animals chosen, are typically chosen by conscientious breeders that understand the personality required, or are chosen by those who need them according to what their own needs are, and they are trained by that owner according to their needs, and the animal's ability to meet those needs. For this reason, there are no limitations on how many animals or what type of animal are needed to meet these needs according to the laws governing animals obtained or kept for these purposes. The owner is responsible for their animals actions and their training/socialization with other people or animals.
I expressed my concern about this woman's opinion to her, touching on the fact that by what she'd said, it lead one to think that the only people that needed service animals, or who should legally be allowed them, were those with physical limitations of some kind. To which she replied that wasn't true.........really....... I further explained that breeders and those with the mental limitations were conscientious when looking for animals who would be able to be trained to handle physical limitation training, but also those that were able to also be given directly to those who had mental limitations as well, so that they could get that animal acclimated to their personal needs. I broke down into tears, she was worse than talking to a wall, I'd get more emotional understanding from one of them. I could no longer function, my cognition was completely gone, trying to express myself, all the words I could utter were a few intelligent ones mixed with fuck fuck fuck and more fuck. I'm sure I made perfect sense at that stage of our "appointment".
She then said I could request a new provider..........she WAS the new provider LOL, and that no guarantees could be made that the next provider would be any more cognizant of the needs of those who relied so much on their animal for comfort etc. It was at this point my Annabelle Lee became frantic trying to comfort me, in the best way she could, which SHOULD have illustrated for this mental midget exactly what an ESA does. I filled out the paper to request a new provider, outlining my need for someone who can read my file, see what was previously prescribed to me....IE my ESA's, and who's beliefs were aligned with my own.
Before leaving her office, she stated that IF my condition was stable, I could simply continue medication etc with my primary provider..... LOL I about fell over laughing at her, and asked, what.....of ALL the things I told you when I first entered your office and you asked about, would lead you to the conclusion exactly, that my condition is at ALL stable? She replied, none. I then replied, exactly....also, for your information, I hold my BS in Psychology, and by all recognition by other scholars AM, in fact a psychologist, though I can't practice until I hold an MS or PhD. I would think you'd understand I'm FULLY capable of choosing an animal by it's nature and personality WITHOUT the aid of a supposed "professional trainer", and furthermore, there is NO one more qualified than me to know what needs I do have regarding an animal to fill that position.
I left, went to the desk, handed them the change of provider form and asked them NOT to call me until they could guarantee that there was a provider who was capable of fulfilling MY needs and belief system. I did all of this while shaking in rage. It is NOT easy to hold your anger in check when it's been pushed beyond your ability to do so. I am fortunate that thus far, I've been able to keep from throttling those who've pushed me beyond my ability to control that rage.
From there I drove home, apparently not noticing some things....IE a few red lights, which should also tell others JUST how dangerous a PTSD episode can be, not just to me, but to those around me. A professional, would have 1, not pushed me into having one 2, recognized that I was in one 3, kept me until an episode passed etc. I can't even express how upset I am that I was allowed to leave in a condition where my cognition was so impaired that driving was a danger. Fortunately, I got home safely, and there were no incidents by other motorists around me that I'd caused in my impaired state. I'll be eternally grateful for that.
I immediately began to try and address the issue, reaching out to department heads, patient advocates etc, but I was not fully cognizant of how to express the magnitude of the situation, other than to say, this is very important, this must be addressed and must be kept from occurring to another veteran. It took me several tries and weeks until finally I was able to fully express my concern about this situation. I told the director of the Psychiatry department, that my concern was that this provider was acting on a belief system that was neither in keeping with the law NOR was it in keeping with the VA's mission statement. I stated that as a veteran, I served my country so that each person was able to have their opinion and beliefs, and that I respect those who's opinions vary from my own. I try to understand them, though I can not always agree about what's right. I further stated that I could understand how she would come to the conclusion that all animals in essence filled that role within a family to some degree. I also said, that there was, however a world of difference between a child who needed a playmate and confidant, and a person who relies on an animal to keep them grounded and thinking clearly when things go to far afield. I told her, that during my time as a corpsman, diagnosing and treating patients I adhered to the standard of care, and that means that even IF my belief was in direct conflict with a treatment I would NOT EVER have refused that treatment. A prime example would be those who had to be chronically treated for STD's because of dangerous and irresponsible behavior. I do not condone, nor do I believe that living that way is morally correct, nor is it right, HOWEVER I'm certainly not going to refuse treatment to someone with chlamydia, gonorrhea, aids, syphilis etc. just because I don't believe in the lifestyle that person is living It is not in keeping with the standard of care for that issue, NOR is it morally correct to impose my belief system on another by use of withholding treatment due to that belief. I further indicated that this person should perhaps be educated in the difference between a pet and a therapy animal, and also the difference between upholding a standard of care, and imposing their personal beliefs on others in order to refuse that care. If that person was practicing within the confines of their OWN practice, they may be able to do something like that, but the VA's mission is to give the care NEEDED by the veteran, DESERVING of the veteran, and do so with the most understanding and care that can be given by the provider in order to do so.
Now I think I'll discuss the difference between a pet and an animal that has a hard and sometimes tricky job to do. I've adored EVERY single pet I've ever had. I remember them all, and miss them every day. I will be the first to admit that sometimes if I've been sad, or busy, or stressed, my pet at the time could sense that, and react according to what they might perceive that I needed at that particular time. HOWEVER, this episode has clarified things so definitely for me given the reactions of the animals I can proudly call my ESAs. The day this occured, Annabelle Lee knew I was in crisis. She had seen it here and there before. She goes with me everywhere I go, and is used to being petted etc by others. I'm hoping to train her to the point where I'd be confident taking her to visit other veteran's in need of her special kind of medicine. Therefore, I explain to others that part of her job is to be given pets and attention, and I'd never want to take her job away from her, she enjoys it.
Annabelle Lee did all the things that she, as my ESA had helped pull me out of crisis in the past. This time it was a bit harder for her, and it lasted much longer than even I could have anticipated. Not only was she working on this crisis situation, but the kitten we found in a bush and raised from a week old, also now an ESA, sensed the need to help, she climbed into my arms, forcing me to cradle her like an infant, while she put her nose to mine for kitten kisses. Annabelle Lee pushes her lips on mine with all the force in her little 5 pound body behind it for kisses. Everything these babies do amazes me daily. It's taken me more than a month to be able to share this experience, and the whole time, my faithful little Annabelle has been at my side while I've stopped to think, typed, etc in order to try and tell the whole story as truthfully as I can remember it. She's occasionally hopped up to lick tears from my face as this experience has been very hurtful, concerning, frustrating, and just plain sad.
Every day, I can't believe how fortunate I am to have these animals, and every day I can't believe how amazing they are. I'm not saying that my previous pets weren't amazing, they absolutely were, but this goes beyond that bond between pet and owner in a way I'm not even sure I can explain. I'm struggling to find the words, and finding myself lacking. All I can say is I rely on them, and am amazed that they are so willing to know I do, and are so willing to act on those needs. I am truly blessed to have these little angels, and I know I don't deserve them, but I'll do all I can to make sure they have as healthy and happy a life I can give them despite my shortcomings.
I think I need a hippopotamus as an ESA.....I can take one on a plane right?
